i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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