as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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