ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
