Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Come on in and take your pants off
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