It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
