The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
