I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
