I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
