Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So here I am, sexting at work.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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