Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
