If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I still have a little drunk in my system
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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