Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
