oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
