all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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