We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
