do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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