All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
