carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
