When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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