Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
