Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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