yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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