Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
