Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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