I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Bring me that man meat
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
