people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
