He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
