best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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