Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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