they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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