she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
