I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
