love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
