this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
