idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
