Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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