you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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