there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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