Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
