Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
