After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
