Who wears a wallet chain?!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
