he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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