we have officially lost it.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
