I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
