Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
