Do you still have your period?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
