WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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