Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
