if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
