Dual....:-)
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
