When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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