I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Less talking, more tequila
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
