we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
