good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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