My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have surprise drugs for everyone
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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